Hill Country

Chelsea
30 W. 26th St. (just West of Broadway)
(212) 255-4544
http://www.hillcountryny.com/

This past weekend, I took a little trip to the Disney World of Chelsea, Hill Country. Multiple sources have told me Hill Country is a major hangout for good looking men. Good thing I went with my parents!

The scene screamed theme restaurant. While the concept was cute for New York City and successfully executed, I thought the place bordered on cheesy.

For those of you who have never been, part of the whole experience is an interesting dining procedure. Immediately when you walk in the door, a hostess hands you a meal ticket. Patrons use the meal tickets as they move from station to station to get all the fixin's of their heart's desire (meats, sides, desserts).

At the time, I didn't have the stomach for ribs or brisket. I know, I know. I should have manned up and gone with the required favorites at any BBQ joint. Instead, I went with the chili. While everything else on the menu seemed adequately priced, is it me or is $10.50 for a bowl of chili not cheap? My dad got some barbeque sandwich, and my mom got the BBQ chicken. So while judging a place without ever trying their prized picks may not be entirely fair, I'm satisfied never knowing.

I was most excited to sample some of the tasty sides. Strike One: I'd consider myself an easy judge of mac & cheese (even the bad ones are likable in my book), but this did not even close to impress me. Strike Two: The cornbread was just above average, but not good enough that I minded giving most of mine away. Strike Three: The lemonade was the biggest tease. The old-fashioned glass jar gave me hope of fresh squeezed perfection producing an equilibrium of sweet and tart. Sadly, they copped out with Country Time mix and water.

All in all, nothing was inedible, but nothing knocked my socks off. A telling sign is despite taking several pictures during the meal, I struggle to find anything worthy of uploading. Frankly, they all bore me and would provide you no further value. Since I am ultimately all about the food, this faux Texas dining hall just did not cut it. Dare I say, the food was no different than a roadside Cracker Barrel? If frequenting Hill Country is what it takes to find a guy in Manhattan, I'd rather be single.

Go or No Go? No Go